QUESTION 1 - CIVIL MARRIAGE OR CIVIL UNION?

Question 1 on the November 3 Ballot has been an emotional issue ever since the Legislature and Governor passed the original bill authorizing civil marriage in the state of Maine between same sex individuals. The law was intended to end discrimination in civil marriage while allowing religious organizations the freedom to refuse to perform such ceremonies.

Let's look at how the Ballot frames the issue being voted on by the people.

Question 1: "An Act to End Discrimination in Civil Marriage and Affirm Religious Freedom.
The Question being asked is: "Do you want to reject the new law that lets same-sex couples marry and allows individuals and religious groups to refuse to perform these marriages?"

Let us be clear on this. If you vote "YES", you are saying you do not agree with the law that has already been passed by the Legislature and signed into law by the Governor. You are saying you do not agree/approve of same-sex couples being allowed to have the right to CIVIL Marriages. This law does NOT provide or mandate that any religious group or organization or church is required to perform a marriage ceremony for a same-sex couple, or even to provide its buildings for such a ceremony.

If you vote "NO", you are saying, you are in agreement with the law that was passed by the Legislature and signed into law by the Governor. You are saying you do not want that law over-turned. You are NOT saying - nor can your vote require - any religious group or organization to perform a marriage ceremony for a same-sex couple or provide its buildings for such a ceremony.

What are the issues here? Let's just deal with the facts.

What is the difference between civil Union and civil Marriage? In truth now - what is the difference other than a word? Especially if the "service" or act that joins two people together is not performed under the auspice of a religious organization (though it could be under this new law - there is nothing that prevents it, only the protection for those religious organizations that do not want to be required to do so).

It is true, the dictionary (currently) defines marriage as the relation between husband and wife. But it also states Marriage is "any close or intimate union." As to the "husband" and "wife" business, I think homosexuality has for the most part blurred the lines between the roles of who plays the part of the husband or wife in gay and lesbian relationships. Heck, the same can be said in a lot of heterosexual relationships whether the individuals are married, living together or just friends.

Except - when the partnership is one of an intended life-long commitment, there is a difference between a Civil union and a civil Marriage. And that difference is determined by the law, no matter what anyone says to the contrary.

And those legal differences impact health benefits, insurance, inheritance, medical decisions for one's partner in an emergency, retirement benefits and coverage, and any children the couple may have - either because of previous relationships or through In-vitro fertilization/surrogate mothers/donors/adoption/etc.

Whether the adults are heterosexual or homosexual, breakups happen. Children from those relationships are not only caught in the middle, they are emotional hurt. Civil marriage protects not only both adults who are, in all respects, mutual parents. Civil marriage also protects the child because both parents are equally protected with parental rights. That is not the case with civil unions. Civil marriage means both parents are financially responsible for the care of any child of that marriage(either through adoption or other means that makes both parties legal parents) and that gives some protection to the taxpayer since it minimizes the chances that welfare is going to have to step in for one parent who would not otherwise be financially required to pay child support.

There were a couple of ads put out by the "Yes on 1" campaign saying that a particular book used in the elementary schools in California was advocating homosexual families. The "No on 1" campaign made that book available on its website - www.protectmaineequality.com. So I went to the website and looked at the book. You can, too. It's a sweet book for children. And it does NOT promote homosexuality. And it is probably applicable in most states in this country. Maybe not Louisiana, but they've got their own problems and it's not homosexuality. You'll have to look at the book and read current news stories to figure out what I'm referring to.

But fair is fair. And right is right. And wrong is wrong.

I have dealt with plenty of kids, boys and girls, who have been screwed up enough by lousy families, none of which were homosexual. At the same time I have seen heterosexual parents so filled with intolerance of any people who were "different" (race, religion, from different regions of this country even, biased against women, biased against differing political views, hatred against even opposing sports teams, you name - they thumped it) that they produced children who were bullies, school yard terrorists, breeding grounds for the worse kinds of human beings....all because of intolerance and fear.

Some people have said that if this law stands, the schools will start teaching homosexuality - by law. And the "Yes on 1" campaign have attempted to support this fear allegation by using so-called documentation from Massachusetts and California. Again, this is trying to build a foundation on fear. The "book" from California does not teach what it is purported to teach. You can see it for yourself if you go to the website listed above.

I have even called a school district superintendent (in San Diego County where my granddaughters attend school) to verify what the book is being used for. What the "Yes" campaign is alleging is totally false. There is a great deal of diversity in California - Hispanic, African American, Asian, Native American, single parent families, gay/lesbian, older generations raising grandchildren. Not so different than right here in Maine. They're just bigger, more people, more miles, more languages.

The Maine Attorney General and Commissioner of Schools have publicly stated that allowing civil marriages between same-sex couples would not require or set any legal basis for changing school curriculum. Read it yourself on the website listed above.

Do not let fear dictate your vote. If anything, those who use it should repel you. Yes, that Bishop and those "special collections" repulse me - for reasons I don't need to go in to. But I need to focus on the issue - the facts. You do, too.

Considering the divorce rate in this country, I only have hope for anyone making any kind of long-term commitment these days. Marriage IS only a word. But it's a good word for those who want it. And it carries the kind of protection and rights anyone should have who's willing to make that kind of a commitment. So, I'm voting "NO on Question 1." It's the right thing to do.