THEY ALSO SERVE

Flags were waving. Bands were playing. Parades were conducted. Programs on the television lauded the sacrifices and commitments made over generations by the men and women of this country’s military. All true. However, there are others who have and do serve right along those in uniform and little is realized of their sacrifices and contributions. I am speaking of the families – the wives, husbands, too, in some cases and the children. (Yes, there are the parents but their sacrifices are of a different nature.) Today I write about the spouses and children – the immediate families of those in uniform because their efforts make such a difference, are so demanding and of which so little is known. I know of this from watching my daughter and her family.

My son-in-law is a Navy Lieutenant currently serving on a carrier based in a foreign port. It is a new assignment that began this past February when he left his family in Texas for preliminary training on the east coast in the U.S. As of July 4, his family had spent a total of five days with him in early March when they joined him in Washington D.C.

However, during the time he has been gone, his wife has completed the following:

•Home-schooled both boys, aged 7 and 9 and gotten them through their year-end exams;

•Organized their home in preparation for putting it on the market (in this depressed economy);

•Sold the home, signed off all necessary escrow papers, and closed all accounts in preparation for the family’s relocation to another country;

•Worked with the contracted packers for three separated structured packings of the families household items: (1) the things to be stored in Texas (because they will not be shipped to the new location), (2) items considered “priority” that would be shipped first (cannot total more than 1,000 lbs – such as the family bikes since that will be the basic means of local transportation, critical cooking utensils and the coffee pot!), and (3) the rest of the household goods that “may” arrive within two months. This includes the furniture, which may, or may not, arrive in tact – with the necessary screws and bolts, or with new scratches, broken legs, etc.;

•Closed out all appropriate financial accounts, set others on “hold” status until their return after this deployment, and laid the groundwork for those that will be needed once the family has set up base at their new location - and arranged for everyone to have annual dental and medical checkups with doctors/dentists familiar with them;

•Arranged to move out of the house in time for the new owners to take possession. This included temporary quarters in the process. To his credit, her husband had made flight arrangements and some hotel arrangements for her for this period. But she still needed to keep the boys on an emotional level during all these stages and changes while SHE was being torn in several directions at the same time with constant deadlines.

Between July 5 and the 28th, there was a brief stay here in Maine and then on to California to visit with the rest of the family before an early morning flight across the Pacific – just the three of them – to a foreign land. But “Dad” was out at sea and, one more time it was up to her, my daughter, to help the boys settle in.

Again to his credit, my son-in-law had found another Navy wife (with an 18-month old) who would meet my daughter and the boys at the airport and guide them to the Navy base which was sime distance away and to their temporary housing. NOTE: Navy families really help each other that is a tremendous blessing worthy of acknowledgement.

Within four days of their arrival, his ship was back in port and he was there with his family for the first time since last March. But only for a few days before the ship sails again. During this brief time together, she will go through Base/Country Orientation that includes obtaining a new driver’s license and becoming familiar with her surroundings and the Command hierarchy. “Dad” bought her a vehicle – orangey red of some make – but without a foreign driver’s license she cannot drive it. Fortunately he already has a license so shopping is on the list during this brief time together.

And then her husband/Dad and the ship will be leaving - this time for several months.

While he is out at sea, she will:

•Move into their new housing;

•Set up whatever financial accounting systems are needed (that weren’t left in place back in the states);

•Receive and unpack whatever shipments are delivered – tracking what is broken or damaged for subsequent claims to be filed;

•Get the boys’ school books organized and set up their home-schooling schedule;

•Get the family into a church group and the boys into their respective AWANA group where she will also find out more about the leadership responsibilities her husband signed her up for…;

•Get familiar with driving in a new country with different patterns and locations to take over the basics of running a home and maintaining a responsible family;

•And maintain whatever communications are available with her husband so he will continue to feel and be an integral member of the family unit – and not worried about anything regarding the family so his mind will be totally on his job and safety. And, of course, they will all be learning more of the new language they have been working on for months.

Then there will be the standards – finding new friends for the boys, learning about the culture, etc., etc., etc. I just hope that somewhere in there she gets some decent rest and sleep. After all, I am her mother, even though I realize she is an adult and a wife and a mother, too. However, separate from all that, somewhere in there, I see her and the other spouses as another component of the many who also serve and help keep this country strong. I know she is.

She has already gone through this routine at least six times. And like I said earlier, the boys are currently only 7 and 9.